The HEART Model: A guide

I still can’t believe that Note gained so much traction— resonated with so many of you.

I’m not the only one who’s tired of a model focused on external productivity.

It’s been exactly one month since I wrote that note. On October 1st, six months after I created the HEART model, something in me said to share it. I was eating breakfast, playing Sudoku. It popped into my head so I opened Substack and put it into the world.

Over the last six months, it’s guided me. Over the last month, it’s taken up residence in my mind — not in a heavy way, but in a curious one. The response made me turn inward and ask what it really means to live and lead with HEART. How do I share it in a way that feels true to its essence? How do I guide others to use it with the same honesty, energy, and alignment that shaped it in me?

As I’ve processed and explored, I’ve realized that HEART goals aren’t really goals at all. I compared them to SMART goals at first—my frustration with that framework is what sparked this whole idea—but HEART goals evolved into something deeper. They’re less about achievement and more about alignment. Less about measuring progress and more about living with intention.

They turn goal-setting from something external and performative into something internal and alive.

Instead of asking, What do I want to accomplish? They ask, Who am I becoming? What feels true and alive for me right now?

I provided a bit of backstory about how the HEART model was born in HEART over SMART including an example of the HEART goal I made when I quit a brutal job search. The response to that article has been incredible, many of you requesting more.

This is the start of your more. The beginning of a deeper dive. My attempt to help you more confidently use the HEART model to guide you in living a life that is honest, energized, and aligned. One that’s realistic for you and transforms your life. One that’s not measured by outcomes but felt deep in your soul— where the true you lives. Where you answer your heart’s call so that you can thrive.

Let’s take a look at each component and break it down.

H — Honest

Honesty begins with yourself. Honesty is about not lying to yourself. Not letting the influence of others lead you but your truest you. Being honest is about not trying to be something you’re not.

It’s looking inward. Letting go of expectations, ego, and “shoulds.”

Honest is about shedding everything that isn’t you— peeling back the layers you may have added over the years. Honest might be the hardest of them all.

• If I’m honest, I let the looks of someone else’s life decide what I wanted for my own.

• If I’m honest, I’ve been chasing something that I don’t even want.

Guiding questions:

• In what ways have I not been honest about myself, who I am, and what I want?

• Where have I been letting the “shoulds” guide me instead of my deepest desires?

• What truth am I resisting because it might change everything?

There’s so much more I could say about being honest with ourselves. Are we keeping friendships that no longer serve us? Are we doing things out of obligation that we actually want no part of? Have we internalized ideas or identities that don’t genuinely reflect who we are?

I’ll leave it at that for now.

E — Energizing

Energizing is the full body yes. It’s the excitement you feel at the prospect of something no matter how scary it is. Energizing is that spark that lights you up from the inside out. You know you want it.

When something is Energizing, it creates momentum — not through pressure, but through aliveness. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it feels worth the effort.
You can feel the difference in your body — tension loosens, curiosity returns, time slips by.

• If it feels forced, it’s not energizing.

• If it gives me a sense of possibility and hope, it probably is.

Guiding questions:

• What am I excited to wake up to?

• What could I talk about for hours without notes?

• Where do I feel that unquestionable “yes” — even when I’m scared?

Feeling energized is easy. Acting on that energy is a different story. But, that energy is your guide. Your body is wise. It knows far more than you might realize. If you feel excitement filling you up, listen. Act.

A — Aligned

Alignment really is born from honesty. Honesty is the inward recognition — naming what’s true. Alignment is the outward expression — living that truth through choices, behavior, and direction.

You could think of it like this:

• Honesty is seeing clearly.

• Alignment is acting accordingly.

Honesty says, “This is who I am.”
Alignment says, “Then this is how I’ll live.”

Aligned means the outer world begins to mirror your inner one. It means your actions are a reflection of what’s in your heart.

• When I’m aligned, I can say no without guilt and yes without overthinking.

• When I’m aligned, I’m proud of my actions because they’re a true reflection of me.

• When I’m aligned, everything feels like it’s flowing. I’m not forcing.

Guiding questions:

• Does this decision reflect who I am becoming or who I’ve been told to be?

• Is this in harmony with my season of life?

• Am I saying yes from truth or from fear?

You can’t be aligned if you’re not honest with yourself. What energizes you tells you what’s aligned. The first three components of the HEART model go hand in hand. They walk side by side and guide you to living a life true to your heart’s call.

R — Realistic

Realistic is the practical side of hope — the one that asks, Can this actually fit my life right now? Being Realistic grounds the dream in time, energy, and circumstance.

• If I’m realistic, I set myself up to succeed. I know where I am right now and what I can accomplish according to my time, resources, and energy.

• If I’m realistic, I pace myself so I can sustain the joy, not just survive the process.

Guiding questions:

• What can I commit to consistently, even on low-energy days?

• What resources (time, energy, support) do I actually have right now?

• How can I make this goal smaller and truer — but still meaningful?

I wrestle with this component of the HEART model. I love to believe anything is possible. And, it is in many ways. But, we also have to be realistic. We have to face the realities we’re in during this current moment in time. Reality grounds us. As a dreamer, that’s hard to admit. It’s true though and deserves recognition.

T — Transformative

Transformative is where the magic happens. It’s not fast. It doesn’t happen overnight. It comes from committing yourself fully to the other components of the model. You can’t put a time frame on it, but you will experience it. It’s the most beautiful feeling when you do.

Transformation isn’t a goal you chase; it’s what happens because you were honest, energized, aligned, and realistic.

• If it changes how I see myself, it’s Transformative.

• If it deepens my compassion, presence, or courage, it counts.

Guiding questions:

• What will be different in me, even if the external goal doesn’t happen?

• How will I know I’ve grown?

• What am I learning about what truly matters?

I’ve transformed over the last six months. I actually wrote a Note a few weeks ago.

It’s true. I am living a life true to me. I’m also still figuring it out. All the time. I’m sitting in Vietnam right now having landed a dream job— working with English language teachers, training them to better serve their students. I worked so hard for this for so long and I’m here. Now that I’ve achieved it, I’m realizing I might not want this anymore. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. It doesn’t mean I didn’t need this experience for my journey. I absolutely do. I’m just being honest with myself. I love my life on a quiet mountain top with my husband and dog in western North Carolina. I don’t know that I want to continue leaving that.

I’m letting HEART guide me. I’m listening to what energizes me and what doesn’t. I’m being realistic about where I am now. I’m listening when my body and soul say, we want to be home.

I hope this helps you.

Please share your comments and questions.

As always, thank you for being here.

You’re helping me live a dream.

Sending love.

© 2025 Dr. Courtney Cunningham. HEART Goals™ framework and materials. All rights reserved. Used with permission only.